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Principles in life

One thing that people usually forget is that everything you have learnt and will learn in life can be applied not just to the subject matter in which is was learnt, but in any other subject matter you encounter in life. You can learn something about cars and use that same principle in lots of other areas too, if you just listen to the lesson and grasp the principle behind it.

As you probably know, I train in a Martial Art. How can principles learnt while fighting someone be applied to anything else in life? It’s quite simple really. All you really need is a little bit of imagination. I will here touch on three completely different subject areas, but I will take one principle and apply it appropriately to each area. Let’s pick a lesson from Martial Arts, then apply some imagination and then I’ll let you use your own imagination as we take that same lesson into something every human thinks about, sex.

Yes, you read that right! I’m sure you’re now thinking that this will end up being some sado-masocisthic blog post, right? Not at all. Quite on the contrary actually! The subject areas could really be anything, but this may show you some contrasts and commonalities and how your own imagination can transform your life.

When you start training in a Martial Art, you’ll be shown basics and you’ll likely be told that the basics are the most important techniques you’ll learn. Practice your basics and higher level techniques will then also become better. I can tell, your imagination is already skipping forward. So, hang in there and we’ll get to that in a moment.

So, let’s use our imagination a bit and consider the above fact. If you really think of it, the above statement holds true in anything you want to get better in. It could be some topic at work, some sport you train or compete in, even cooking. Take each component in whatever subject matter you wish and you will see that if you can get the basics right and improve your skills the end result will also be so much better, right?

Take this into the context of being with your partner then. Remember your first kiss? It was probably shit if you think of it objectively. But through the years, hopefully, you get more chances to practice that technique and eventually your skills in kissing someone improves. Should you stop trying to get better? Nah, why should you? That’s no fun right?

Next thing that your Martial Arts instructor will probably tell you a lot is to slow it down. This is so you can more easily see, feel and understand what the technique itself has to teach you. You’ll find openings in yourself where you are vulnerable, openings in your opponent where you can strike, weird or interesting angles that changes what opportunities you have or not have. It’ll show you at what points you’re doing something right, but more importantly where you are doing something wrong.

Using your imagination next, let’s consider something that a lot of people do. At a certain age you can start driving a car. You’ll be driving in lots of different road conditions and weather conditions. On a dry road it is very easy to keep high speeds and still be in control. Driving fast is not necessarily a mark on you being a good driver. As adverse weather rolls in controlling the car safely becomes harder as it may lose traction a lot sooner and easier. Roads that has water on them are not as safe as a dry road. Roads with icy spots are yet again not as safe as a wet road. Roads with thick ice and a bit of snow on top is less safe again. The key then to drive safely is not to be driving fast, but to drive at a speed where you can safely control your vehicle. Look at Ireland recently. Slow down and you’ll much sooner notice when the road becomes unsafe or when the car is starting to lose traction. If you slow down, you can then control the car and take yourself out of a potentially lethal situation. Driving fast will more than likely get you injured or killed.

Now, if we take this into the realm of sex, I’m sure you can already see direct correlations here. Lads, how many times have you had a woman tell you to slow it down and not just jump in there? Again, slowing things down will make it much easier for you to figure out what makes your partner tick, sigh, squirm and enjoy what you’re doing.

Everyone that starts in a Martial Art will at some stage be told to relax. In the dojo you will find someone that is very rigid and really goes at it with lots of force and strength. Also known as “being martial”. Doing this will probably hold you back eventually and eventually you’ll not progress and get any better at what you do. Your techniques may look good, but you may find yourself getting beaten when ending up sparring or worst case on the streets in a real fight.

Let’s consider a punch, aimed at your belly. Your natural reaction is to tense up as you receive the punch and more than likely you’ll get winded. All because you’re tensing up, you lock up your entire body. Once the air rushes out of your lungs, that fight is over. If you instead relax your abdomen a bit you can absorb a lot of the force and thereby not get winded. As you haven’t locked up your body you can also move out of the way to a much safer position, leading to you staying in the fight or surviving a potentially lethal situation.

Again, taking this into the context of sex, what can you learn here? Well, if you tense up you’re also losing control of your body in this situation as well! It becomes harder to breathe for example. If you relax, you could enjoy the moment for longer and thereby have more stamina and definitely a much nicer experience.

Another thing that is said to us in the dojo is that soke never does the same technique twice. Soke is the japanese word for Grand Master. He is the person who decides what direction the Martial Art is taking and so on. He is therefore a very important person in any Martial Art. But why doesn’t he do the same technique twice? Well, no two situations are the same. Not even if you practice the same technique over and over again. Each time a strike or kick is making its way towards you, there will always be slight differences. Learning to use those differences to ones advantage is a key factor. If you end up on the street in a fight and you expect your opponent to behave in some specific pattern, you’ll end up on the ground bleeding. No person reacts exactly the same as any other person. Not even if the same thing happens twice in a row as they have learnt something from the first time it happened to them.

Let’s consider something that Einstein once said: “The height of insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different outcome.” He mean this in the context of science and expecting different test results from the same tests. Science is very absolute in this regard, but so is expectations, which is a very relative term. In order for you to get a different test result, you have to change the test in some way. Could be simply slightly different mix of ingredients or perhaps adding or removing some component. What is important to understand here is that the second time you do the same thing, the result is already known and can be expected to be just what it was the first time. You should expect this, because others will expect this as well. Something needs to change for it to be different.

Again, this also holds true when it comes to sex. Keep on doing the same thing over and over again become boring. Really boring. Eventually you may even have a schedule when you’ll have sex. Does this sound like fun? Does this sound like something you’ll want to have for the rest of your life? Nah, not only change what you do, but when, how and where. You’ll have lots more fun that way, right?

So, to those of you training in Martial Arts, what other lessons and principles can you apply to your daily life that you learn in the dojo? What lessons from your every day life can you apply to Martial Arts?

Those of you not training Martial Arts, what lessons have you learnt at work that you can use at home?

To all of you, remember this, your imagination is the most powerful force you have at your disposal. You can imagine anything you want and if you work towards that imagined goal, eventually you’ll get there, and as I showed above, there might be some fun along the way too!

Never forget, everything you have learnt so far you can use any way you see fit. All you need to do is being open to new ideas. Both your own and others.

Hopefully this learnt you something, but more importantly I hope this may open new doors in your life and shine a light on that something you want to have improved and given you some ideas on what you can do to get it resolved.

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