Mainly Void Thoughts

You want to be successful in what you do? You want to “be the best”? You want to have all your dreams come true? Most people tend to answer yes to these questions.

Are you willing to do what it takes to achieve those goals? Are you willing to put in the effort required to get there? Again, most people say yes here too. Only one problem, people generally do not realise the effort they may have to go through and how hard that road might become.

If you take a look at those that are really successful in what they do, no matter what it is they do, you’ll find a few select things they all have in common. First and foremost is the fact that they just never quit, never give up, no matter what they are faced with. They get knocked on the head and fall down, they’ll be right up on their feet again, getting back in there again, again and again.

I’ve heard a couple of quotes which fit very well in here, and I’ll also add a video, which actually is the reason I’m posting this in the first place. Take these quotes and remember them, saying them to yourself when you’re starting to falter. Because you will falter. We all do at some stage.

“There is no failure, only feedback.” – Milton H Erickson

“It’s not how many time you fall down, it’s how many times you get back up again.” – Unknown, references appreciated!
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” ~Japanese Proverb

“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender [...]” – Winston Churchill [Full speech]

“Do it with a smile!” – Sensei (you know who you are, Domo arigato)

Now, here’s the video.

You have probably been told, and likely still believe, that your brain was only allotted a certain number of “brain cells” and that once gone that your brain would never be able to recoup those lost entities.

Scientific studies have revealed over the last decade this simply isn’t true. You can actually not only regain “lost” brain cells, but you can also change different parts of the brain. Simply put, your brain adapts to the excercises you put it through. For example, if you are studying for an exam, the parts of your brain that are involved in learning and memory retention grow and become more dense, effectively making you more adept at learning and retaining new skills and knowledge.

But, when does these new parts of the brain form and can you do anything to help it along?

In an average person, the brain “regenerates” or “grows” when you’re asleep. In other words, when your conscious mind has gone to bed and your subconscious mind is at its peak of its working day. So, this in turn tells us something else, if you let your conscious mind “go to sleep” and you simply let your subconscious mind do what it needs, you can then allow this to happen, even when you are not asleep.

But how can you get into such a state then? Well, you could consider the notion of day dreaming, meditation, self-hypnosis etc. which could also be called by the term “trance state”. No, I do not mean in the sense of doing a seanse looking for dead people, but rather a very common state which an average person actually enters, normally, several times through the day.

If you consider those times you’ve driven to work, but can’t remember anything of the drive, apart from going into and getting out of the vehicle, this is what I am talking about. You’ve simply let your subconcious mind drift away processing whatever it needs to process.

You can, as noted above, also use meditation or self-hypnosis for the same purposes. In actual fact, some research has claimed that from a 20 minute meditation session, your brain has then created a new synapse, a complete neural pathway representing a specific “thing” (emotional connection, memory association, etc. etc.)…

If you’re curious about reading more about this, I found a decent starting place, which includes further references. It is a student paper, so itself is an introduction for those who want the scientific references and data.

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/3932

Waiting is something I don’t do too well. It is something one does because one has to, not something one chooses to do. Sometimes though it can pay off to hold off things for a little while, allowing other things that are in motion to settle down before making any decisions. It is good to keep moving, but it may not always be good to be rushing.

One can find examples of this in all sorts of places in a normal day. For me, this became even more obvious this morning. Here’s the thing, I had a job offer from a company yesterday. I had also been waiting to hear from another company as well. Both jobs are something I’m both good at and I liked both companies. There was just something extra I found to my liking with this other place, the one I had waited to hear from, and I had waited longer on them than the company who had now offered me a position. So, I was now twisting and turning, wondering what was going on at the other place, as I had no feedback at all. Could be good, could be bad, one can’t really tell.

Sitting here at home then, having nothing much to do, this plays on ones emotions, probably more than anyone likes to admit. You then get up in the morning, still wondering “Should I take this offer? Will the other place offer me a position? What should I really do?”. Nerve wrecking, like as I said before, I liked both places.

While I then was checking my morning email, I was thinking “ah, let’s just go for what is on the table. It’ll be fine. The others haven’t said anything yet and I’ve waited for some time now…”

This is where things are getting tricky, and by now you can probably guess what is happening. As I am in the middle of accepting the offer I have, the phone rings …

Fantastic! Oh CRAP! I now have 2 job offers, offering similar packages etc. What the hell do I do now then? Gut feel is all I have left to go on, and to be honest, my gut feel has helped me before. I am simply going to go with the company I got the best feel from and that I feel suits me the best.

If you or someone you know are interested in changing a behaviour or overcoming one then Hypnotherapy is definitely for you. Break Free Hypnosis has opened it’s doors and is based in Adamstown, Lucan. I am a Registered and Certified Hypnotherapist who has a Diploma in Hypnotherapy from the Irish Hypnotherapy Association.

I’d work with clients in overcoming behaviours that might limit their lives. It can be anything from smoking, weight loss, confidence, to anxieties or phobias.

Imagine for an instant that you’re about to hold a presentation at work. As you walk in to the meeting room, you notice the CEO is sitting at the table. Someone you didn’t ever believe would be there. You start getting nervous, feeling cold sweat running down your spine. You start the presentation, studdering ….

This isn’t really a pleasent place to be, is it? However, it is something that is quite common a place to end up in. It is also something which can not just be managed, but completely overcome. Imagine the completely opposite situation, where the presence of the CEO didn’t worry you at all, but perhaps even made the presentation something very exciting and interesting? What if you had the confidence of a rock star standing on stage when you gave this presentation? Better yet, what if the CEO said “that was very interesting, let’s do that!” ??

Such change can be achieved in actually a surprisingly short time span. So, do you have something you want to change? Something that might help change your world?

More than likely, you have lots of questions to ask, and I do ask of you, please do ask them. You may have beliefs about how Hypnosis works, what happens and so on, which may not actually reflect reality. Again, if you’re not sure about it, feel free to ask.

At the top of this page is a link, also called Break Free Hypnosis. It has further information as well as my contact information.

Here we have a nice little topic that can stretch on forever and contain so many “don’t do this or that” finger wagging “lessons”. However, this is not my goal at all with this post. Instead I’d like to try to convey a few things I’ve learnt on this but mostly what I still have to learn. (Isn’t it great to know the path ahead?)

I often find myself thinking, saying or even writing not so, should we say, favourable things about something (or even someone). Let’s be honest here shall we, at one point or another in life, we all think, say or do something not too nice about or to someone else. We’ve all called someone a “complete and utter waste of the air he breathes”. If you haven’t you’re either a saint or have lived an extremely sheltered life. That or you are just lying to yourself.

I try to be balanced and objective as much as I can. However, even such an exercise can lead me down the path of not being very polite. On one end of the spectrum something nice is said. Try to be objective, one also should highlight the negatives right? The “problem space” here isn’t about highlighting something negative, but how and what is highlighted.

Example: “He’s a complete and utter arsehole, but he sure knows a thing or two about this subject!”

In one sense I am here saying just what I feel, “he’s an arsehole”, which isn’t very nice of me is it? It may be as true as it wants, but the arse here is actually me. On the other side of the spectrum is me applauding this persons skills in something. That’s a heck of a lot nicer of me, but really shows more of the value this person holds.

This is where humility comes in. Which is the more important point here? That this person I am talking about is an arse, or that he knows something valuable? Quite simple isn’t it? But the above example easily demonstrates thought patterns and emotions that are quite easily stirred when one meets someone that may not be someone you take an instant liking to. From here it becomes very easy to just attach your own emotions to the negative. How come? What’s the point really?

Do you recognise yourself here? If you do, remember this: THIS IS A TRAP! Fall into this hole and if you “ventilate” these thoughts to anyone else all you accomplish is to dig a nice deep hole for yourself. Perhaps deep enough you can’t crawl back out again. Trust me, I’ve done this on a few occassions and neither of those have been pretty and certainly haven’t helped me in any way.

My suggestions here is quite simple. You have a couple of choices at this point.

1. If you have no use for the skills this person possess, simply ignore him/her. If you can gain no benefit, all you will gain is detrimental to your own success in life.
2. If you can gain or have use of this persons skills, feel free to utilize those skills as appropriate. Just make damn sure to remember to simply ignore the personality differences. In some cases you may even be able to express and agree with the individual you do not like each other, but that you can still work together on something. This latter usually only works if there is benefit for both parties.
3. Never, ever, let your emotional dilemma become an anchor around your own neck. Turn any negatives away and lift up the positives instead! You can truly achieve some amazing feats in life and only you are the one that can achieve them. You have absolutely nothing to gain through pursuing negative emotions or thoughts.

To me, this is what humility really is: a vessel that let’s you overcome obstacles in life and let’s you persevere through anything life throws at you.

No, I’m not saying you should become a monk or a nun. Sure, religion advocates humility, but it is not necessarily something that is possible to attain just for religious people.

I consider this “spiritual”, which you can be without being religious. To be more precise, I consider this “being of your spirit”. This is how I use the term “spiritual”, in reference to my own “spirit” and not in terms of religion.

In life one runs across cross roads here and there. Some small, some big and then there’s the ones that are so big you have no idea where they might take you. You’re just not able to see where either direction is heading, you can only see a small distance either way. It is very easy then to stop dead in your tracks, wondering what the heck to do next. I’ve been essentially sitting in one of these cross roads for some time now.

But what does one do, really, when you try to make up your mind on something that is really big in your life? You sit there and “weigh your options”, right? But eventually, you simply just pick one, based on how you feel about the choices laid out before you. Sure, logically you can say one choice is better than some other choice, but in the end, this has turned into an emotional thing.

I guess this is why I’ve recently been feeling a bit down. I’ve got a couple of things I need to decide on, and I honestly do not want to decide. Well, it is not that I do not know what I want. But what I truly want I cannot achieve at this point in time. At the same time, I must do something. In the end, this just feeds frustration and a feeling of helplessness.

In my martial arts training I keep on hearing a mantra. A mantra which goes “keep on moving, don’t stop”. If you break this down into it’s bare, raw and actually scary form, then one thing stands out. Direction as such is less important than moving in and off itself. Yes, direction has an outcome on the end result, but standing still will have an even worse end result.

I’ve made up my mind anyway and I’m picking a direction, because staying where I am I will only be hurting my self. What I can’t do today will have to wait until tomorrow. In the meantime I’ll simply build up to a point where it is possible.

Sounds simple once at the end, right?

Keep on moving! Ganbatte Kudasai!

As I just got my Diploma in Hypnotherapy, all of a sudden I have new options available in my life. Always nice to have don’t you think? Because I am now a RC Hyp, Dip Hyp, MIHA, it seems I can now start using all sorts of new wonderful acronyms. If you know me, you also know I have been working in the IT industry for, well, just about my whole life. So acronyms I am used to, but these are just different somehow.

RC Hyp simply means “Registered Certified Hypnotist”. Dip Hyp one could call a variant as it means that I have a Diploma in Hypnotherapy. MIHA then means “Member of Irish Hypnotherapy Association”, which is the association that has accredited the course I went to and which I will become a member of as soon as all the paperwork is processed.

What does all this have to do with my crystal ball? Well, for a start, nothing. I don’t have a crystal ball. Yet anyway. Might get one at some stage, but not for the use most people would think of when talking about such an item. It does have to do with my future though and looking forward to see what may lie in store for me.

It does mean that I can now start and open my own clinic and start getting in clients! Must say I’m actually quite thrilled with that prospect. Not so thrilled about what it’ll mean to my job safety. I’ll have to be chasing customers very actively which is something wholly new to me. Advertising? Myself? That’s a far fetched idea for me, but something which I’ll have to be doing. Not even sure where to start if I am totally honest, but likely I’ll have something out in the local papers in the future.

At this stage you are probably wondering “but what is Hypnotherapy then?” …

Well, in short, Hypnotherapy is a way for a therapist to “get to the point” with their clients. I’m certainly not a Psychiatrist, a Magician, or someone who drags people up on stage to make them go “cluck” (no matter how fun that might be in certain cases). No, it’s a way for me to help people overcome whatever problems they might have. It might be quitting smoking, trying to lose weight, get confidence to speak in front of an audience (or even in a meeting with colleagues), get over that ridiculous fear of dogs/spiders/cats/<insert your preferred hate object here> or even certain medical conditions (like skin disorders, allergies, IBS, etc.).

There is so much this type of therapy can help with it is hard to even create a simple list. Instead, think of it like this, it helps you break a habit, a negative way of thinking or problems with an underlying psychosomatic cause.

It is absolutely superb in helping clients to relax, focus their mind and achieve some truly astounding results. Especially in cases where the underlying problem is one that is preventing a client to fully lead their lives, it can be a truly transforming event when the problem has been removed.

Just take you’re average person. Someone who happens to think that everything bad always happens to them, that nothing ever works out for them and that the world essentially is out to get them. Quite a crap place to be in, no? How would their life change if all of that was put on its head and completed reversed that thinking? Everything is going their way. All the good things in life they want, they can get. The days outlook is always bright. What would you do if you would have such a life? How would things change for you if that happened to you? What if, you could change all those things that are standing in front of you, blocking your path to happiness?

That is what Hypnotherapy can do. That is what I see absolutely glowing in my (imaginary) crystal ball.

I find this a very interesting question. Mostly because, for me, the answer has changed over time, and it keeps on changing. How come? Is it because I just think about it and keep redefining what is important in life? Is it because there’s things that affect my outlook, or am I just getting older and therefore my priorities are changing?

Whatever it is, something is changing, and to be honest I really don’t care what it is. I care much more about the answer to the question than the underlying reasons. Because the answer to the question is the important piece here. The answer to that one question shapes the rest of your personal little world, and what you’ll be doing with your life.

For me, especially over the last couple of years, this answer has changed, quite significantly. I’ve discovered and rediscovered a lot of things about myself. Those discoveries in turn have then changed how I look upon myself, people around me and in some cases some of my very core values have been re-evaluated and redefined.

Because I have done this, my life has slowly changed and it is now getting to a point where I’ll be standing at a major cross road where I’ll have to make a decision. A fairly big one which will change my life, yet again, in a big way. In a sense I have already made up my mind and all that is left is timing. That and the slight shiver down my spine in making such a big jump.

What has gotten me to this place in my life then? Well, in a way, I’ve already told you. I’ve re-evaluated what is important to me in my life. I just didn’t say what that is yet.

There’s actually a couple of things which has always been something I have enjoyed and gotten much gratification from. It has been studying people and how they behave along with the gratification you get from helping someone else.

Imagine the things you can do with your life and how happy it can make you feel if you could combine the things you truly enjoy and incorporate those into your everyday. How liberating would that be for you?

For myself, I already know this: if I can do what truly means something to me and which I also truly get happiness from doing, I’ll take that chance if I can go and grab it.

So, ask yourself: “What drives me? What motivates me? What makes me truly happy?”

You should then read this excellent post over at Warrior Fitness ..

It shows how you can get fit by exercising in a few minutes per day. Exercise while watching TV, do push up and read a book at the same time or something similar. all you really need to start getting fit is finding 5-10 minutes a day and start using that little bit of time to start you off.

If you’re finding motivation lacking, do get in touch with me and I can help you with that too.