Archives for : May2011

Space

Having your own space is important. Having something just for yourself is definitely something we all should have. It doesn’t have to be something you can hold or touch. It can be anything you want it to be. Something I do cherish is to just have my own “head space”. Time dedicated just for my self and my own thoughts. I find that it is something I require to have. It’s not optional for me, I just have way too much happening around me that I feel I want to think about. Not necessarily even conscious thought.

Spending even just a few moments on quiet contemplation, or drifting away while reading a book or listening to music are moments I cherish, as they are spontaneous. Anything may pop up in the back of my head as I drift away from reality.

However, this is not the only kind of “space” I need. I also like to be completely and utterly alone at home sometimes. Might not even be at home! Could just be a walk somewhere. Especially enjoy walking into a thick forest and just listen to what is happening around me. Enjoying all the sensations one get when you’re in a deep forest all alone. It is a liberating experience. Some people love a walk along the sea, I love the trees and the wildlife that inhabits it

If you’re in a relationship, you also need “space” from the spouse, kids, etc. Seriously, getting a bit of time for yourself is great. Not only can you focus on yourself for a while, it also makes everyone realise what is so important about the others in a family or relationship. Just because your with someone doesn’t mean you have to spend every wake (or asleep!) moment with your counterpart!

Being apart also creates space for time to spend together and enjoying that time even more! Being apart can be a great way to be together!

Just because you miss someone, that doesn’t have to mean you must see them right away. Leaving it for a while means seeing the one you want to be with that little bit sweeter. It also allows you to be free on your own, on your terms.

It also means that when you are together, both does things for each other. But things they want to do for the other part. Not doing things because they are asked for, or expected, but because one wants to do something for the other. What that thing is, well, that is a different matter. It can be anything, from just going to dinner in your partners favourite restaurant, taking them out to a venue to see something together, or anything else you may want to give your partner or family member.

But taking that space is the crucial part here. It allows you to separate yourselves from each other, while at the same time building on that special thing shared between you. One might say this goes back to my topic on duality. All things are connected somehow, some way. When you get that space for yourself, you have a much better chance to figure out what exactly is connecting you to those you love and hold dear.

So, do take your space. Take some time for yourself. Enjoy it, just for you. Allow yourself that freedom. It is a freedom that is exceptional and valuable. If you haven’t done this yet, give it a try! Be without your significant other for a week and see how you get on. Did it go well? What did you learn about yourself and what did you figure out about those you cherish? Does it change anything for you? Have you found more things you value? How do you value them? What is good and what is bad? Are you getting the things out of life that you truly want? If not, what can you do about getting closer to that goal?

So many questions that only you can answer for yourself does require this space.

Then, when you have had your space, you can so much better share that space with those you want to share it with. Understanding so much better what you wish to gain from it, and what you are willing to sacrifice of yourself. Yes, sacrifice of yourself. Every relationship holds an amount of self-sacrifice. Most people call it “compromise”. A compromise always holds a certain amount of sacrifice, from both sides.

So, get that space for you. It is a great way to open new doors to new experiences in your life. It is also a great way to close doors that need to be closed. In your own space, you can also let go of things that hold you back, drag you down or even imprison you. Get that space and experience that freedom.

%d bloggers like this: