Honesty

A word loaded with implications.

What is honesty, really? Sometimes you’re honest to others, sometimes you hide your true intentions. Sometimes you hide it both to others, but worse, you hide it to yourself. Not being honest, to yourself or others, could be lying or it might not be. It all depends on the situation, but mostly it depends on if you are firstly honest to yourself, your very own self to be precise. Once you can’t be honest to yourself, you are not just lying to others, but you are also fooling yourself. I see this as the worst kind of betrayal one can do. Because, by fooling yourself, you betray yourself. If you betray yourself, there is no way you can be fully honest to others. Those around you will be hurt, and you are the one that will suffer the most.

If you are honest to your self and others, you also gain their respect and trust. If you fail to be honest to yourself, that respect and trust will wear out. How long and by how much all depends on how much they actually do care for you.

If you are in a situation where you are telling yourself things are a certain way, while at the same time you know deep down inside they are truly different, you have started lying to yourself. This may be because you are scared to face your true self, your own persona, your very own soul, the fabric that makes you what you are. You have only two choices here. Either you can keep living your life in a lie, telling yourself you are just fine. Alternatively, which is much more constructive and honest, is to face this fear you have. Stop being a coward and understand yourself. Let your ego go for a walk, face a mirror and look at yourself and see who you really are. All of a sudden you may realise what you have been missing in your life and who you really are.

Where I am in my life right now, I am facing those fears, taking a long hard look. Turning every little aspect about myself around, trying to be objective about what I find, embracing it. Only by actually embracing what I find can I make those things a real and true part of myself, helping me move along the path I am on. Sometimes it angers me, these things I find. Sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes it makes me smile or even laugh. But, every thing I find makes me a stronger person. Makes me a whole person. Sometimes I realise something about others. What I take away from that is, “well, how would I behave in that situation? what would I do and what is the right thing to do?”…

This is being honest. This is being true to my self, myself & me (all slightly different things). Not being honest to myself will only bring disaster into my own life. I choose to be happy. I choose to denounce fear. I choose to denounce my ego. I choose to lead my life to the full, to learn new things every day, and to learn to see deceit in others, even if they have good intentions for my welfare, because nothing hurts more than someone wanting you good but actually isn’t honest about their intentions and thereby cause you grief instead.

Being honest takes courage. Courage to be the one who you truly are. Being honest isn’t always easy, but I see it as a must. To yourself and to others.

One may not always say the full truth, at the same time, that may not be the same as lying. Rather, it is not lying, but simply concealing a part of a truth. However, not answering honestly, even if concealing parts, is lying. Never lie. In the end, if your lie is uncovered, you are the one that will suffer the most from it. No, always be honest, even if you may not give the full picture.

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Comments (3)

  1. I would love your comments on this. The comment box is just between “Leave a Reply” and the “Submit comment” button. I know, hard to see perhaps, but it’s right here…

  2. Honesty is always good, lets face facts lies just end up hurting everyone in the end.

    Good luck with your self examination, turn over those rocks and dig deep into who you are.

    By all accounts that I have heard you’re a pretty decent guy. Time passes people change and the heart wants what it wants.

    Just don’t let your honesty turn into righteous fury or hurtful talk. Take the time to think about what you say and what you mean.

    Take care Anders.
    Feel free to stop by anytime.
    Bob

    • Indeed. Though people sometimes lie to protect themselves or others. Not always the best move that could be made. Sometimes people lie to make something more interesting. Fair enough, depending on what the topic is. I do value someone that can come right out and say what they really mean. It’s a rare gift that people can be brutally honest, both with themselves and others around them and even greater if they can take things for what they truly are.

      Oh, rocks have been turned. Moss removed. Polished corners. 🙂 I’ve always been fairly sure of who I am. Sometimes though it is good to just sit down, look at things with an open mind and most of all doing so objectively without emotional attachment. Sometimes very hard to do, but one learns a lot of interesting things that way. 🙂

      Thanks Bob! Yes, I do try to be fair on everyone. Sometimes I fail, just like the next guy. But when I have realised I screwed something up, I’ll be the first to ask for forgiveness too. And yes, things do happen in our lives which we have no control over. It is little point in trying to change them back the way they were. That serves no purpose as in the long run, it’ll only blow up in ones face. Better to get the good things one can get and accept the things one cannot get.

      Heh. I rarely get furious. If I do it isn’t pretty. I do realise that what you’re talking about here is about recent events. Trust me on this Bob, I only wish one thing and that is for her to be happy. If that means I need to step to the side, then so be it. All I ever did want for her was happiness. As it stands, I’ve accepted where things are and I’m moving forward with my life as well. Yes, it did hurt like hell, but after having done that reflection mentioned, I too have realised it is for the best as we have truly grown apart in many ways. We have had our fun, and I will remember those days fondly. Now I am looking forward to seeing what else my life has to offer me.

      You too Bob and if you’re ever over in Dublin I’ll show you where you can get the best pints o’ da black stuff this town has to offer.

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